💋 Welcome to the pulling phase, you cheeky devils!
Before you can boast about your conquests down the pub, you need to know how to talk about them. Are we reminiscing about that wild night in Ibiza back in '19, or are we tallying up your lifetime achievements? Let's sort out your Present Perfect from your Past Simple so you don't sound like a total mug when you're trying to impress that fit bloke or bird across the bar.
- Conquest (noun): A person you have successfully seduced. (Usually a bit of a brag!)
- Reminisce (verb): To happily think or talk about the past.
- Mug (noun - slang): A foolish, gullible, or stupid person. Don't be one.
1. The Cheeky Dictionary: 8 Words You Need Tonight
Practice: Drag the correct slang into the sentences!
1. I was absolutely when he never texted me back.
2. We had a great chat, his is absolutely hilarious.
3. I can't believe you spent fifty on drinks for him!
4. Doing the at 9 AM while my neighbors were watering their plants was mortifying.
5. Look at the bartender, he is well !
2. Grammar Mechanics: The Time of Your Life... or Just Last Night?
- Past Simple (The "One-Night Stand" Tense): Started and finished in the past. We know when it happened.
Example: "I snogged Liam behind the bins last night." - Present Perfect (The "Notches on the Bedpost" Tense): Life experiences when the exact time doesn't matter.
Example: "I have kissed three different blokes this week!"
3. Reading: The Morning After
Notice how they switch between the two tenses, and spot our new vocab words!
4. Interactive Practice: Are You a Legend or a Liar?
- Brag (noun/verb): To boast or show off about an achievement (like pulling a fit celebrity).
- Tragic (adjective): Extremely sad, pathetic, or disastrous.
Exercise A: Choose the right tense
1. "I with someone on the first date!" she lied smoothly.
2. "We back to his flat, but his flatmate was still awake."
3. "How many times that dating app this year?"
4. "I fifty quid on drinks last night, and I didn't even get a snog!"
5. "He me three times today. A bit desperate, isn't it?"
Exercise B: Rewrite the Brag
Rewrite these tragic Past Simple sentences into impressive Present Perfect brags. Add 'already'.
Tragic: I kissed a celebrity in 2023.
Brag: I have already kissed a celebrity!
1. Tragic: I saw him naked yesterday.
Brag:
2. Tragic: I deleted my ex's number last night.
Brag:
5. Speaking Practice: Spilling the Tea ☕
Grab a mate, jump on a voice note, or leave a comment below! Practice using both your Past Simple for specific stories, and Present Perfect for your life experiences.
- Have you ever had a disastrous walk of shame? Tell the story! (When did it happen? Who saw you?)
- Who is the most fit celebrity you have ever had a crush on?
- Have you ever acted as a wingman or wingwoman for a friend? How did the night end?
- What is the most amount of money you have ever spent (or someone has spent on you) during a pull?
- When was the last time someone's banter completely won you over on a date?
Stop Sounding Like a Mug! 🎓
Looking to boost your English speaking skills and sound nice, natural, and like a proper native? Don't just read about it—live it.
Come and join me for a bespoke English lesson online at nativeuk.com today and get your fluency sorted.
Book a SessionFancy Even More Banter? 🥂
Want even more natural sounding English to impress your mates at the pub? We’ve got the secret stash of slang you won't find in school books.
Check out our Words section and dive into our Blog. You’ll be sounding like a native speaker in no time at all.
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