💋 Consent is the sexiest thing you can wear.
Before you dive headfirst into the sheets, you need to make sure your partner is actually up for it. Nobody likes a pushy bloke who doesn't know his boundaries. English is a very polite language, which means we have a whole arsenal of Modal Verbs specifically designed for asking permission and making requests. Whether you want to try something a bit naughty or just ask them to turn off the big light, here is how you ask without ruining the vibe.
- Up for it (phrase): Enthusiastic and willing to participate in an activity (often used for sex or a night out).
- Pushy (adjective): Aggressively demanding; not respecting someone's hesitations or boundaries.
1. The Cheeky Dictionary: 8 Words for Setting the Rules
Practice: drag a word, or select it and choose a gap.
1. It is incredibly important to respect your partner's .
2. If someone says "no," you need to immediately. Don't them.
3. He asked a really question, but it made me laugh.
4. I think he's really on you. He hasn't stopped looking at you all night.
5. Sometimes I don't want to hook up, I just want and a movie.
Choose a word, then choose a gap.
2. Grammar Mechanics: May I? Can I? Could You?
When asking for permission (Can I do this?) or making a request (Can you do that?), the modal verb you choose sets the tone. Are you being casual, polite, or incredibly formal?
| Modal Verb | The Vibe | Cheeky Example |
|---|---|---|
| Can / Can't | Casual, direct, and standard. Used with people you are comfortable with. | "Can I take your shirt off– "You can't kiss me yet." |
| Could | More polite and slightly hesitant. Good for the first time you ask for something. | "Could you move a little closer– |
| May | Very formal. In the bedroom, it almost sounds like you're roleplaying a Victorian lord. | "May I tie your hands, my lady– |
| Would you mind + (verb-ing) | The ultimate polite British request. Impossible to say no to without sounding rude. | "Would you mind closing the curtains– |
3. Reading: The Negotiation
Notice how Mia and Jake use modals to check in with each other!
4. Interactive Practice: Minding Your Manners
Exercise A: Choose the right Modal
1. It's really cold in here. you pass me the blanket, please?
2. I don't want anyone to see us. locking the door?
3. I be excused from the table? (Very formal!)
Exercise B: Complete the Request
Use the structure 'Would you mind' to make a polite request out of these commands. (Don't forget to change the verb!)
1. Command: Turn off your phone.
Polite: Would you mind your phone?
2. Command: Call me a taxi.
Polite: Would you mind me a taxi?
5. Speaking Practice: Spilling the Tea ☕
- Have you ever had to firmly tell someone to back off because they were being too pushy?
- In your opinion, what is the sexiest way to ask for consent before kissing someone for the first time?
- Do you think it's important to establish boundaries before going back to someone's flat?
- If a date asks a very cheeky question, do you usually get offended or do you find it funny?
- Practice with your partner: Roleplay using "Would you mind..." to make three polite, non-sexual requests around the house.