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July 24th • Taboos & Consent

International BDSM Day

Observed on the 24th of July, International BDSM Day raises awareness about the adult lifestyle community that centres on trust, communication, and consent. Often misunderstood by mainstream culture, this day aims to educate people about the psychology and ethics behind alternative relationship dynamics.

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Speaking Discussion

  • Why is society so uncomfortable with alternative adult lifestyles, even when everything is happening between consenting adults?
  • In BDSM, consent is the most important rule. Could the mainstream dating world learn anything from the way this community communicates?
  • Why do some people find pleasure in giving up power, while others find pleasure in taking it? Is this a reflection of their real-life personalities?
  • Do you think movies like 50 shades of grey have helped people understand this lifestyle, or have they created more dangerous stereotypes?
  • How does a taboo topic become mainstream over time? Can you think of other lifestyles that used to be hidden but are now accepted?
  • Is it possible for a relationship to be successful if one partner has extreme fantasies and the other partner does not?

Activity 1: The Boundaries Workshop

The Task: You are a Relationship Coach. You are teaching a class of couples how to discuss their boundaries and comfort zones without feeling embarrassed.

Give 3 pieces of advice on how to start a difficult conversation about personal desires.

Activity 2: Rapid Fire Taboos

Complete the sentence and justify it in 20 seconds.

  • "The most misunderstood part of adult relationships is..."
  • "Communicating your needs clearly is difficult because..."
  • "Society should be more open about..."